HOW TO WRITE A LOVE LETTER TO YOURSELF

Remember passing notes to friends in grade school, or writing love notes to a crush?

With the rise of iPhones and other technology, physical writing is less common now, but there is still a place for notes and letters. They can be more intimate, personal, and thought-out—like handwritten love notes or longer love letters.

Friends, partners, or family members are usually the recipients of love letters… but what if you wrote one to yourself? It might seem odd at first, but it’s powerful.

Why Write a Love Letter to Yourself?

We spend every moment of life with ourselves—more time than we spend with anyone else—but how often do we actually nurture that relationship?

For most of us, it’s easy to get caught in attending to the needs of everyone else around us without enough attention on our own needs, accomplishments, and feelings. But nothing is more important than building a positive relationship with oneself.

Writing yourself a love note gives you the time and space to highlight that relationship. Pouring love towards ourselves reminds us why we matter and helps us focus on the things that make us special.

Writing is good for our health too: it can stimulate important parts of the brain, help improve our views of life, and is linked to lower stress and improved mood.

So, will you take this loving challenge and write yourself a love letter this year? If you said yes (and I hope you did!), here’s how to do it.

How to Write Yourself a Love Letter in 6 Steps

1. Grab Paper and a Pen or Pencil

A journal you already use or just a simple piece of paper will do. Then, choose your writing utensil. This could be a pen, pencil, or even colored pencils or markers. Use anything that gives you joy or makes it easy to write your love note.

2. Phase Out Technology

This exercise works really well as a break from your phone, computer, or tablet by turning everything off. You’ll prevent distractions, and it will be easier to focus on what you’re writing.

However, if you are like me, and often start writing on your laptop or other devices, put your devices on silent, and exit out of any open apps to reduce distraction.

3. Time It Out

Set a timer for at least 15 minutes. If you want to continue writing after the timer goes off, wonderful! Write for as long as you’d like, or stop after the 15 minutes are up; it’s up to you.

4. Start Writing…

Begin with “Dear [your name]” and just start writing. Think about what you’d say if you were writing to a loved one (and you are!).

Feeling stumped about how to start? Here are some ideas of what to say:

• What have you done well this year? What do you do well in general?
• What challenges have you overcome, recently and throughout your life? Why does that make you proud of yourself?
• Think about what you need to hear right now. Maybe you need encouragement, validation, or someone to say “I love you just as you are.” Write it to yourself.
• What things are you looking forward to in the future?
• What do you love and appreciate about yourself? This can be anything from your ability to give to the color of your eyes.

These are just some ideas, but write whatever you’d like—just think love-focused phrases and encouragement.

5. Don’t Think—Just Write

Your love letter needn’t be eloquent or well-written. Don’t worry so much about grammar or spelling or making things flow perfectly. Just write what comes to your mind—what’s in your heart.

6. Be Generous and Kind

We also tend to downplay or forget how much we’ve accomplished, whether it’s in the form of success at work or raising a family or anything in between.

Even if you aren’t feeling self-love or positivity when you start your letter, even if you feel resistance, think about amplifying the love within you towards family, friends, loved ones… and start radiating and re-directing that love you feel to you.

Write down anything and everything you want to hear, and be kind and loving. You deserve it.

While writing a physical note to yourself might seem or feel silly or strange at first, it is a powerful, and often emotional, experience. Consider it a reminder that no matter what happens, you are worthy, you are loved, and you have the power to remind yourself of this at any time.