Manifest Love: 5 Steps to Finding Your Best Relationship


Finding a person to share the rest of your life with, who gets you, and makes you happy, is a great joy of living. But some of us feel lost when it comes to good love and wonder when it will happen for us.

Finding your best relationship, the kind of love that lasts and is healthy for both people, is about manifesting the type of love you desire. Here are five steps to do just that.

1. Be What You Want to Attract

This follows the core concept of the “law of attraction,” which is the idea that we attract what we focus on. For example, focusing on positivity will bring more positivity into our lives—because we notice more positive things each day.

Instead of actively looking for a relationship just to have a relationship, focus on what matters most to you. Work on being the person you want to be in your dream relationship before you have that relationship.

Give your energy to things you care about, and you’ll naturally begin to attract and be around others who share your values and interests. Instead of believing a partner will make you a better person or fill in any gaps in your life, start being that better person now—start filling in those gaps yourself today.

Live as if you already feel the love and affection you want to feel. Focus on finding what makes you happy and being your best self now; then, you’ll be ready for that relationship when it does arrive.

2. Understand Who You Want to Attract

What type of person do you want to be in a relationship with?

Take some time to think about what matters to you, and make a list of qualities that are most important to you in an ideal partner. For example, you might list:

  • What’s important to them in life—what they care about most
  • How you want to feel when you’re with them
  • What you want to enjoy doing together
  • Goals and morals that are compatible with yours
  • Qualities you want them to have—such as honesty, kindness, being emotionally available, being a hard worker, and being able to communicate

Think about what will matter to you not only today, but 50 years from now when you’re both old and gray!

3. Use Love-Centered Affirmations

Positive affirmations help us focus on how we want to feel; they are powerful phrases that remind us of what’s most meaningful. Here are some examples, from motivational author Louise Hay:

  • Love is coming my way.
  • I choose to see clearly with eyes of love, and I love what I see.
  • I am surrounded by love. All is well.
  • I attract only healthy relationships. I am always treated well.
  • I am comfortable looking in the mirror, saying, “I love you, I really love you.”
  • I now deserve love, romance, and joy—all the good that life has to offer me.

Choose an intention that speaks to you most, write it down, and speak it as a declaration to yourself that you are ready for your best relationship to appear.

4. Identify (and Work Through) Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are thoughts that get in the way of what you desire in life, such as finding a great love.

For example, you might believe there are no good men or women left out there or that you don’t deserve the type of person you want to date. This belief is 1) not true (even if it seems like it at the time, there are plenty of good potential partners in the world you are deserving of) and 2) limiting your potential to find someone because the belief leads you to view dating as futile.

While these beliefs can keep us all stuck, it is absolutely possible to work through them:

  • Take some time to think about what limiting beliefs you hold around finding a good relationship. It could be thoughts that replay in your mind or things you say often.
  • Once you know the beliefs, ask yourself why you believe them.
  • Then, come up with a list of reasons why that belief isn’t true. Think of real-life examples of this belief being wrong. Come up with as many examples as you can!
  • Whenever you notice yourself thinking a limiting belief, practice counteracting it with positive statements. For example, if you believe you’re unlovable, notice that thought and counteract with the fact that there are people in your life who love you and who have loved you in the past, and there are people who will love you in the future too.

Limiting beliefs can be unconscious, too, so you might need time or help bringing them to light. Working with a therapist or talking with a loved one you trust can help you realize these beliefs you hold so you can begin working through them.

5. Be in the Best Relationship with Yourself

This step is really hard for many of us, but deep love develops when we’re also open to loving ourselves.

How can you cultivate more self-love in your life? Here are some ideas:

  • Take a moment to sit quietly, take some deep breaths, and feel the love within you.
  • Extend that love to yourself and those around you.
  • Find what truly matters to you, go towards it, and focus on what personally gives you joy in life.
  • Make a list of what you love about yourself. What do you do best? What would you want your ideal partner to appreciate about you? *link*Maybe write yourself a love note.
  • Find ways every day to show love and appreciation to yourself. Send yourself positive thoughts and encouragement and treat yourself as the most important person in your life:
    • Buy yourself flowers
    • Take yourself out to eat or to a movie
    • Nourish your body with good foods and exercise
    • Spend time in meditation and mindfulness
    • Acknowledge your successes when they happen, even the small ones

These are all keys to manifesting love and your best relationship—and that begins with you!


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